“Whatever satisfies the soul is truth.” Walt Whitman

More smiling, less worrying. More compassion, less judgment. More blessed, less stressed. More love, less hate.” ― Roy T. Bennett

P.S. Spirituality means living with and honoring the awareness that things in life are to a large extent exactly the way they should be and that even the worst tragedy has positive effects which we cannot forsee while the most positive of good luck carries negatives which we do not suspect. And with this awareness, humanity as a species is no longer as desperate to survive. Whether we live or die simply means life is taking its course. This is by no means a call to devalue human life. On the contrary. We are able release the attachment to status, comfort, and competition in order to truly live fully.

On the other hand, there are many things we theoretically know, but tend to practically forget during our lifetime. We can benefit from a kind habitual reminder of tried and true principles instead of drowning in the ever new input enabled by our latest technology.

These are 2 good reasons why moments of mental silence or mental bypass become highly valuable in our daily routine.

One way to achieve an activation beyond the mind is through affirmations, mantras, or chanting. Their repetitive and pre-determined nature manage to bypass the analytical mind and go straight to the heart. The more regularly we repeat them, the more effective they become. Here are a few affirmations that you can use as an example for creating your own, or to integrate into your existing routine. I have found that taking a deep breath between saying each one helps enhance their effect.

1. I choose to be gentle and kind to all beings including myself.

2. In this moment I release thoughts of worry to remain present.

3. I have faith in the innate goodness of people.

4. I calm my nervous system by taking deep breaths.

5. When challenges arrive I stay anchored in hope.

6. I have a big heart and that’s wonderful thing.

7. My strength comes from my ability to dream of a better future.

8. I am never alone and I reach out to others when I need support.

9. My thoughts, words, and actions are all grounded in love.

10. I accept that others may dislike me or even be mad at me.

“When the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object.”
― Milan Kundera

The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper. - paraphrasing a quote by Eden Phillpotts

1. Food has a purpose. Beyond that purpose (eating too much) its value quickly diminishes to the point of becoming toxic, addictive, or burdensome. Having too little food can also be harmful.
2. Water can also be part of a meal. If desired, taking sips of water with a meal can aid digestion. Drinking an entire glass however might do the opposite.
3. Great meals are balanced from a nutritional point of view. Vegetables and fresh ingredients should always be the top priority.
4. Food has added value when self-prepared. The ritual before a meal can be as important as the meal itself.
5. Food is best enjoyed in peace. Ideally, no electronics should be in use, nor kept on the table. Reading is best done after, rather than during, a meal. Soothing music in the background can be good company during a meal.
6. Whenever possible, meals should be eaten warm. Not hot, and not cold from the fridge. Room temperature is acceptable, though not ideal.
7. Meals should be enjoyed in an upright seated posture. Eating while lying in bed, lounging, or standing is best avoided.
8. Stress impairs digestion. Anchor the beginning of a meal by breathing in and out deeply through the nose. Expressing one’s gratefulness for the food as well as for the body’s effort in the upcoming digestion calms the mind and prepares the body for receiving the food.
9. Keeping a food diary containing the meal time, the amount and type of food can be useful and fun. One’s well-being can be traced to the food we eat.
10. Fruit sugar is the best choice, but if fruits are not available, self-baked deserts are the best alternative.
11. Consistently having delicious and balanced meals is a form of self-love.

“The preparation of good food is merely another expression of art…” Dione Lucas

“Do not think of knocking out another person’s brains because he differs in opinion from you. It would be as rational to knock yourself on the head because you differ from yourself ten years ago.” Horace Mann

We all want stuff, but a question arises: do we really want it, or is it about societal “values” or parental desires? The gap between what society is and what it could be makes me feel like we live in a supermarket:

1. it offers too much choice and we end up buying more than we need (“Blueberries in the winter? No problem!”

   “Single mom and employee of the month? Why not?”)

2. some choices are framed as “superior” to others (“Fame and fortune always trump working with your hands in the dirt.”)

3. many of the choices are so devoid of real value that they leave you in a worse state than you were in before you “bought” them. (Get married young, have kids early.”

   “Place many of your unfulfilled needs upon their shoulders.”)

We often walk through the societal supermarket due to its convenience. It’s the biggest, most comfortable, and closest to shop at. Will the food be of high quality and good for you? You might be allergic to gluten (9 - 5 job). Could you find something that’s better if you go to the local farmer (away from the comfort zone)? Might even get the same amount of nutrients from half the amount of food (spiritual practice versus societal achievements). Should you give up convenience for the benefit of a more meaningful personal happiness? If not, there is a risk of becoming a non-person:

“

- I know this steak doesn’t exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain… that it is juicy, and delicious. After nine years, you know what I realize?

Ignorance is bliss.

- Then we have a deal?

- I don’t want to remember nothing. Nothing. You understand? And I wanna be rich… you know, someone important. Like an actor.

”

So what about coaching? Why is presence a major ingredient for a high quality coaching session? Well, simply put, sharing presence with others is a basic human need. Yes, on the same level as sleep, food, and air. Why is that? We might have excellent solo presence, yet sometimes crave the presence of another human being. Their awareness of us.

Presence in the company of another human being satisfies a deep psychological need of being seen. Truly seen, on all levels. This means being listened to intently as we express ourselves. Being watched, but not judged. In fact, being placed in a positive light, regardless of what is shared. Presence creates a space to express, to reveal the fruits of our evolution and struggle. One derives self-worth from stepping inside such a space space and owning it, even only for a few minutes. Whatever is revealed during a coaching session is of high importance because the one holding the space (the coach) has an optimal state of mind and body. Yes, the body also enhances presence. It offers assurance and brings a wisdom beyond that of the analytical mind.

Society is meant, partially, to offer such a space. One where we share and celebrate, we grieve, and solve problems together. But in today’s western society, real, deep, genuine presence is harder and harder to find. Celebrations are quickly forgotten in favor of the next achievement, grieving is for the weak, and the problems tackled are almost exclusively material or external (financial, technological, political, etc.). The spirit, the soul, the heart are almost left out.

Coaching offers a space for intimate, personal celebrations, a neutral, respectful space for grieving, and a rigorous space for problem-solving. This space enables the most hidden habits, values, ideas, feelings and resources to surface. It is the coach’s presence that encourages one to go past the point of fear and self-doubt. To explore with curiosity, beyond feelings of anxiety, and into the areas where all the hidden resources, discarded dreams, and lost, or hidden identities reside.

Presence creates a bond based on trust, inclusive awareness, and curiosity. People work for years to build such bonds. During coaching, due to the training and nature of a coach, this can be achieved in a few hours, if not minutes. There are moments in life where the need for such a bond becomes imperative. While it might be tempting to turn to a loved one, they can be ill-equipped, biased, or simply unavailable to help. Hello, coach!

“Let others see their own greatness when looking in your eyes.” - Mollie Marti

Often in life we listen to advice from seemingly wise sources, from bosses, from books, from friends and family, from scientists, etc. We sometimes forget that in terms of our own lives, there is only one true expert. Our Self. It is an inner guide that remains steadfast no matter what happens externally. This presence is to be found in various ways (meditation, spirituality, exercise, play, creativity, etc.), but rarely does engaging with societal structures bring its voice to the foreground.

Take comfort in knowing that this guiding presence is by your side all the time. Be grateful for it. A coaching session is centered around the awareness of the expert Self and places you in the best possible relationship with its nature.

“Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.” - Edward Henheffer

Coaching offers something society often fails to do. It recognizes the nature of life present inside each of us and brings it into optimal alignment. Once alignment is even remotely achieved, one’s life becomes more fluid, resources become available, and awareness is gained. Such awareness makes free will possible, and with that ability, there is no limit to what you can achieve.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Viktor Frankl